god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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