Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
