i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
