Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
