How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
