id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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