Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Randomize