u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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