Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
