Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i've created a new STD.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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