and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
