Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You're breaking my sexual little heart
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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