Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
