Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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