The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
