Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
