I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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