at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
