he shaved USA in his pubs
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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