I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
