Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
my liver is dry heaving
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
