Your tits are I can't wait for
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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