Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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