hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
