If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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