Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize