hotel room ftw
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
