Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
