chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I can't turn off my feet"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
