dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize