my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
