dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
