I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
