i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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