mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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