I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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