so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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