Screwed.edu
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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