I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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