You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
