That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
id be glad to
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just invented taco cereal.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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