NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
so much tequila, so little girl.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
