Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
