a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
