I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Sorry about my life...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
