Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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