you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
And then he peed in my hair
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