And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We left the knife in your bed.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
