accomplished twins. life is a go
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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