At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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