There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
