i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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