Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.

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(325): View more from Texas

I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?

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(609): View more from New Jersey

My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.

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(209): View more from California

Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers

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(908): View more from New Jersey

this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us

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