It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
