Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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