i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
