singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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