Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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