i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
