the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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