whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
