Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
