do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
